“I must get that work done”, “I have to go to the gym today”, “I need to start drinking less.”

Really think about how often you say it in your life. It’s probably so commonplace now that you don’t even realize that you’re saying it all the time.

Well, you should be careful, because words like must, need, and have been terrible for your discipline and motivation.

How come? Because when you use these words you’re ordering yourself around. If you’re like me you probably like being in control of your own life and not being told what you should do by someone else.

But have you ever stopped to think that by saying must, need, and have you’re also being ordered around?

This is because there are two separate driving forces in your head, your rational thinking, and your emotions.

If you always lived by your rational thinking you’d do everything that you need to do exactly as you need to do it. There’d be no laziness or procrastination.

But, you probably know by now that your emotions are a lot stronger than your logic.

There have been hundreds of times in my life where I want to act in a certain way but my emotions have made me act in another way.

And the same is probably true for you.

So, what should you say instead?

When you’re thinking about doing an activity you enjoy, what words do you normally say to yourself?

Those are the words that you should be using instead. “I’d LIKE to go to the gym today.” “I WANT to start eating healthier.”

Do you see how the tonality changes?

Suddenly it’s not life or death. You don’t HAVE to do anything or NEED to do anything you simply WANT to do something. Now you’ve taken the pressure off of yourself.

Because the truth is you don’t NEED to do anything. You could sit in a room for the rest of your life and do nothing if you wanted to.

So, remember this the next time you’re telling yourself what you HAVE to do! You don’t HAVE to do anything! You WANT to do everything!

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Antonio Tourino is the creator of You Are Your Reality. A blog founded on the principles that through self-development and personal growth it is possible to completely turn your life around. Going from a person with anxiety, lack of confidence and self-esteem issues; to working across Europe, he is living proof of the massive change you can make in your life when you stop listening to the no's in your head and start listening to the yes's.
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