Since we were young, most of our relationships are imposed upon us.

We don’t choose our mother, father, brother, sister, cousins, or family.

When we go to a school that we also don’t choose we find ourselves among teachers and colleagues that we also didn’t choose.

When it comes to college we can choose the university but we can’t choose who teaches there and who sits beside us in the lectures.

After graduation, we are so eager to earn money and take responsibility for our lives we jump into the first job that suits without thinking about the environment so we can end up sitting with co-workers and bosses that we don’t share anything with.

We continue in a relationship just because we found ourselves in it for a long time so we don’t want to lose all the efforts that we have put in even if we are not fully satisfied.

This might look depressing, I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be nice, I want to be beneficial.

So in the next few lines, I will share with you 3 reasons why you should have fewer friends and how it will benefit you?

1 – The first reason why you should have fewer friends is that you should practice solitude. You should practice it from 15 to 30 minutes every day, 2 hours every month, one week every year to sit on your own. I can’t count the number of benefits it has but some of them are:

  • Knowing yourself
  • Evaluating your life
  • Planning for the future
  • Being creative with new stuff like paintings, products, and writings.

So you can’t have these moments of solitude while having a lot of friends unless you are uniquely good at time management.

2 – When you start having these solitude periods, you will define your true purpose in life. In other words why you are living on this planet. After knowing your purpose you will not want to waste it on purposeless relationships that don’t serve you.

3 – Every group of friends has their own interests that may not resonate with your values, preferences, and interests, consequently, you will neither enjoy nor benefit spending time with them because you are not sharing anything in common with them.

So what now?! 

You told me how to get rid of people how can I have more connections?

Don’t get me wrong you will still have friends even better ones but friends that align with your purpose, preferences, and interests.

Friends that you choose, not friends that were imposed upon you. You will have space and time to make these new friends and with better bonds and rapport.

Secondly, the moments of solitude will make you know yourself more and accept it unconditionally. There is a quote that says “the distance between you and the person beside you is equal to the distance between you and yourself”

If you can connect easily with yourself, you can connect easily with everybody else.

I experienced this, after having a lot of hours of solitude and connection with myself I can easily connect with the Uber driver, the Barista at the coffee shop, my mother, my father, and any human being because you are not hiding anything and you are not excepting anything from anyone then you can truly connect.

These periods of solitude aren’t easy and it requires a lot of sacrifices but at the end of it, you will find the most precious reward…

You will find yourself!

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Ali Zakaria is the best-selling author of the book "The forgotten Art of Happiness", Certified NLP Practitioner & Time Line Practitioner. He is studying Positive Psychology for 4 years and practising meditation for more than 5 years. He attended numerous seminars and workshops online and offline on coaching, spirituality, inspiration, and business since 2005. His passion took him from a shy anxious thin guy to a fit, self-aware, determined man. He achieved this level of awareness by consuming a lot of knowledge, writing, and monitoring and analyzing his actions.
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